Your Options Explained

Not Sure If You're Ready to Have A Baby?

So you aren't sure if you're ready to have a baby or not?

We don't blame you for not being sure. There is a lot to think about. And it's scary.

Costs? School? Where are you going to live? Is anyone actually going to be there for support? Are you all on your own?

But the ONLY thing you need to know right now is that there is no need to rush into any decisions. Many people are going to tell you that you need to decide immediately what you're going to do about this baby, but it's not true. There is time. And the nice thing is, with only a little time talking to one of our volunteers, many past clients have actually been able to come to a decision pretty quickly. That can happen when you get in touch with someone who's gone through this before who can help you to determine what your actual concerns are. It's a lot easier to answer questions when we figure out what your particular questions are, right?

And once we know what you are worried about, we can talk to you about it in detail, as we have helped over 6000 families over 45 years with their unexpected and often unwanted pregnancies.

We have a HUGE resource book that contains all of the names, addresses and phone numbers of doctors, lawyers, nurses, government organizations, non-profits, safe houses, and tons of other people and places that want to help people just like you.

We can help you stay in school while you're pregnant, go on to college, keep your job, or even get a job.

We know everything feels really overwhelming, but we take it one question at a time, and figure out what it is that is stopping you from having both this baby and your dreams too.

Links, like the ones below, are available to us to help you see what your rights are as pregnant person, whether it's in high school, the workplace, medical care, or for housing. You cannot be harassed or dismissed in most cases. Know your rights. We'll get you legal help.

Ready To Have A Baby, But Need Help?

We are so glad that you realize that you can ask for help when having a baby! Raising a child is a lot easier with a plan in place and with people to help you. And we can help you get both.

We have access to TONS of support from our county offices, our city services, our churches, our neighbors, and our friends in other organizations that are waiting to help you out.

We try to be the one-stop shop for you to get all the answers you need.

• Are you choosing NOT to have a baby because you are want to finish high school or college? We have helped women with babies do both of those things.
• Do you think you won't be able to afford a baby? Let's look at your budget and see, and if it's true, then what do you think about adoption as an option? Go over to our page called Adoption Options and get answers to your questions about it. Adoption is the least selfish and the most loving choice that thousands of women choose gratefully every year.
  (link to Adoption Options Section)
• Has someone told you that you are throwing your life away if you choose to have this child?
• Maybe you feel all alone and feel like you won't have any help raising this baby?
• If you were told that there's a very good chance that this fetus has a birth defect, or a disability, or some other problem with her, maybe that is scaring you?

We can help with all of that and more! Just ask. Call, email or stop in. We want to empower, educate and elevate you to the life you hoped for – even through an unplanned pregnancy. Have hope, be flexible and dream big!

Links, like the ones below, are available to us to help you see what your rights are as pregnant person, whether it's in high school, the workplace, medical care, or for housing. You cannot be harassed or dismissed in most cases. Know your rights. We'll get you legal help.

Not Ready To Have A Baby?

If you're not ready for a baby, then you need to know what your options are...

...and we will be happy to go over them with you, one by one, answering all of your questions, until you find the option you think is best.

But there is no huge rush. People will tell you that there is, but waiting a couple of days in order to get some questions answered, won't make a difference. There's time and you need to take it because this is big and serious decision. And no one else should be making it for you.

Do you know what the #1 reason women give for choosing to have an abortion in Minnesota? Because someone in their life was pushing them to do it. Does that seem like a good reason to do anything, especially when it's involving your body, your health, and your future?

Make sure to write down the questions that are rolling around in your head. Let's look at them, one by one, and see what is the reason you are choosing this, because if it's just because someone else tells you it's a good idea or that you have to, then you haven't thought everything through for yourself. We want this to be YOUR choice; YOUR decision; no one else's.

• Are you choosing NOT to have a baby because you want to finish high school or college? We have helped women with babies do both of those things.
• Do you think you won't be able to afford a baby? Let's look at your budget and see. Many women find that with the help that we can offer, plus the help from other agencies that we can find for you, you may be able to afford raising your baby. If it's true, however, that no matter all of the options, that you still won't be able to afford raising a child, then what do you think about adoption as an option? Go over to our page called Adoption Options and get answers to your questions about it. Adoption is so very unselfish and an EXTREMELY loving and brave choice that thousands of women choose gratefully every year. It is the chance for your child to grow up, and a chance for a family to give that gift to you!
• Has someone told you that you are throwing your life away if you choose to have this child?
  How do they know what the future holds? This child will add amazing moments and joy to your life. And this child is already your child regardless, but if you can't see yourself parenting him, then give another family the blessing of your baby.
• Maybe you feel all alone and feel like you won't have any help raising this baby?
  Sure, if you choose to raise the child, there will be times that are overwhelming, whether you are alone or not. But you are not alone and we will do whatever we can to not only teach you and guide you and walk you through it, we will help you create a support system that will be there for you too.
• If you were told that there's a very good chance that this fetus has a birth defect, or a disability, or some other problem with her, maybe that is scaring you?
  No one wants to hear that their baby will struggle and it is very intimidating to think ahead, but if you go forward with this pregnancy, one of two things will happen: one, the prediction by the doctor could be wrong and there might not be a defect (which has happened many, many times. In some cases, depending on the method, false positives for fetal abnormalities are as high as 50%), or two, the child will have a defect and you two will work through it together, day by day, moment by moment, like every other surprise that life throws at us.
  We have a brochure in our office full of testimonies of families that are so glad for the hour or days that they had with their children. No matter how short our time with our kids, they will bless us.
  But take a moment, and check out this amazing man who doesn't care that he was born with no arms and no legs! He's so glad to be alive! (and so are his wife and kids):
  Learn more about Nick Vujicic

And the one thing we want to be sure you know is that if you are talking to any professionals about abortion, they should be telling you all of the risks associated with this medical procedure, as you would expect to have the right and the need to know before you would agree to ANY medical procedure.

IF they don't, or if you want to get a second opinion, we will make sure to find you a doctor that will tell you what you can expect.

The Woman's Right to Know Act, enacted in 2004, but recently struck down in 2022, used to require by law that every patient considering an abortion must receive information about medical risks of both abortions and pregnancies, medical and other public assistance available for your pregnancy, and information about fetal development and when fetuses start feeling pain....and you had to be given this info at least 24 hours prior to an abortion procedure so that you had time to think about it. Now, without this law in place, women run the risk of not only rushing into an important decision, but not being fully educated about the pros and cons of each choice, and not being told of their options. There are options. Multiple options. Not just one. An abortion is a medical procedure that carries various risks with it, as does pregnancy, but if you have not had these risks explained to you in detail, then find someone who will take the time to help you make an educated decision. Your health is worth asking questions about. We will find you a doctor who will answer all of your questions. We want you to be safe. We want you to be in charge. And the only way to do both those things is to get the answers to your questions. We will not use scare tactics or graphic photos, and we do not rush you into any decision. This is your decision, and we acknowledge that. We just want it to be an educated decision and one where you get what you want and what you expect. Any medical facility should be giving you time and options. If they are not or they are not willing to take the time to explain themselves, go somewhere else; somewhere where your concerns are their concerns. You will find that at Life Connections. We care about you as a woman. Please call or stop in.

Because abortion can be very hard on your body, it can have some very serious and long-lasting side effects, as does pregnancy. These need to not be ignored. According to the Mayo Clinic's website: "Having a medical abortion is a major decision with emotional and psychological consequences. If you're considering this procedure, make sure you understand what it entails, side effects, possible risks, complications and alternatives."

The one effect that more women suffer from silently but is talked about the least is PAS, or Post-Abortion Syndrome. It's a form of PTSD. Just like not all soldiers have obvious signs of PTSD, not all women who have had an abortion will notice PAS, but some women are being affected emotionally by an abortion that was promised to “make everything go away.”

This is what the National Library of Medicine, National Center for Biotechnology Information federal government website says:

Published Oct 2018 - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6207970/

"The abortion and mental health controversy is driven by two different perspectives regarding how best to interpret accepted facts. When interpreting the data, abortion and mental health proponents are inclined to emphasize risks associated with abortion, whereas abortion and mental health minimalists emphasize pre-existing risk factors as the primary explanation for the correlations with more negative outcomes.

Still, both sides agree that (a) abortion is consistently associated with elevated rates of mental illness compared to women without a history of abortion; (b) the abortion experience directly contributes to mental health problems for at least some women; (c) there are risk factors, such as pre-existing mental illness, that identify women at greatest risk of mental health problems after an abortion; and (d) it is impossible to conduct research in this field in a manner that can definitively identify the extent to which any mental illnesses following abortion can be reliably attributed to abortion in and of itself. The areas of disagreement, which are more nuanced, are addressed at length.

Citation: Reardon DC. The abortion and mental health controversy:
A comprehensive literature review of common ground agreements, disagreements, actionable recommendations, and research opportunities. SAGE Open Med. 2018 Oct 29;6:2050312118807624. doi: 10.1177/2050312118807624. PMID: 30397472; PMCID: PMC6207970."

If you do choose abortion, we want you to know that we will still love you, hug you, and help you anyway we can... because we are at our core Pro-Woman. That is what we are all about. That is why we exist...to support you.

If you feel the need, we can work together to find you a professional licensed counselor that you can talk to.

There are also these online options:
https://www.abortionchangesyou.com/
https://conquerorsafterabortion.org/
https://www.usccb.org/topics/project-rachel-ministry

The link below can help you see what your rights are as a pregnant person, whether it's in high school, the workplace, medical care, or for housing. In most cases, you cannot be harassed or dismissed just because you are pregnant.

We'll get you legal help.

Know your rights.

I've Been Raped! What Do I Do?

1. Go straight to your nearest hospital emergency room, community health center, or doctor and ask for “a rape kit.”
   This will tell the nurses what to do. It is a way for them to make sure you are okay physically, while at the same time collecting evidence in case you ever want to prosecute your rapists. You will NOT have to pay for the exam. Every county is responsible for paying for potential rape exams for you.
2. Preserve evidence of the rape:
   The one thing you may want to do is wash – but DON'T SHOWER or wash up at all until AFTER the doctor's exam. If you were to wash up, you run the risk of washing away all physical evidence of the rape so do not bath, shower and DO NOT WASH YOUR CLOTHES. Doing this would get rid of blood, semen, saliva or hair and DNA that could be used as evidence of the rape.
3. Decide LATER whether you want to report the rape:
   You do not have to decide immediately whether to report the rape to the police. This can come much later, but the sooner a doctor examines you, the more likely they are to find physical evidence that they can link to the rapist, if you do decide to report the rape to the police eventually. If you don't report it, then at least you were examined for your health and safety. If you decide to report it, then you should go to your nearest police station where the officers must take your statement.
4. Tell someone all the details and timeline of what happened as soon as you can:
   Once you are out of danger, tell the first person you see and trust what has happened, or contact someone you know and trust and tell them the whole story while it is fresh in your mind. If you have no absolutely no one else you can tell, the first person can be a nurse, doctor or police officer. Ask them to record you or write down what you say. Although this can be extremely difficult to talk about, it is very important to do because this person can help if you choose to start a police investigation, and later support your story in court. They are known as “the first contact witness.”
5. Get support to help you to recover:
   Don't try to deal with this on your own. Life Connections can get you in touch with professional counselors who are trained to help. There are support groups, online help, and lots of options to process what you've been through. Please keep reaching out to different people until you get the help that you need.

If you find out that you have become pregnant by a rape, PLEASE read through this website by a woman who was conceived in rape BEFORE you make any decisions about the pregnancy:

Rebecca’s sites have a lot of really helpful information on realizing that having an abortion doesn’t make the rape go away, but in fact it removes a chance you have of something positive coming out of such a negative event.

This story recounts many cases of how babies can help a mother to heal and how we need to look at this with new eyes and discuss your options again.

There is absolutely no evidence that a child born of rape inherits evil from it circumstances of conception.  This is a baby, like any other baby, and we hope you will at least consider the possibility that the child could bring you joy; someone to love you and thank you for believing in them and giving them a chance to make this a better world.

Please give us a call if we can help in anyway.

Links, like the ones below, are available to us to help you see what your rights are as pregnant person, whether it’s in high school, the workplace, medical care, or for housing.  You cannot be harassed or dismissed in most cases.  Know your rights.  We’ll get you legal help.